It might look just like an ordinary toilet, but…
What’s the deal with kids and toilets? Who appointed them to be mentors with the responsibility to turn the light on and off so that their mother could enjoy a disco-like environment while she’s doing whatever she’s in there to do?
Our toilet might look like any other ordinary toilet to most people, but the children of this house knows better.
The reminder
I’m beginning to suspect that our toiletseat has a sensor or something hidden in it. As soon as someone sits down, the door flies open and there’s a child needing to go RIGHT NOW. You might think that it would help to ask the smallest kids if they need to go to the toilet before you go, but they always say no. They don’t need to go before it’s almost too late. It’s much more fun to play with Lego as long as you possible can before running to the bathroom.
The throne
Whenever the queen of the house sits down on the toilet seat/throne, it’s a signal to everyone that the queen is now ready to solve all of the kingdoms little disputes.
The info desk
When someone’s there, it must be a perfect time for all the “Mom, do you know where **** is?”, “Mom, is it true that..?” etc.
The ATM
Yes, that’s right. It seems like the kids believes that there’s somehow money involved when I’m sitting on the toilet. I have no idea why. It seems like that’s the perfect timing for asking the “mom, can I have?”-questions if they have one.
This whole toilet mentoring thing was cute when my oldest child had just learned to crawl and followed me everywhere. It stopped being cute when the kids got older. Luckily they seem to get the point as they grow older.
I try to remember how it was in my childfree years. Going to the bathroom. Alone. Taking my time. Alone. Without having to say things like: “Get out”, “Can you wait a minute?”, “Ask your father” etc. But I can’ remember.
After all. Disco lights are more memorable.
Don’t you think?
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Comments
I totally misinterpreted this post initially. My boys are now 10 and 13, so our issues with the toilet are a little different. I remember those years (man! it feels so OLD to say that!). Once the boys were potty trained, however, their potty became the problem. And it still is. Aim is always an issue. My poor daughter shares a bathroom with them (but at 14 she makes her own bathroom mess), but the boys are always the ones who are required to scrub the toilet.
I really don’t miss the days when I was the number one bathroom attraction. I don’t even miss the days when they were the number one bathroom attraction (Mama! I’m done! Mama! Come wipe!). I’m more than content to play Sudoku in the bathroom now without interruptions. 
But thanks for the trip down memory lane.
You are so right about the bathroom.
As soon as I close the door there’s chaos on the other side. I don’t know how many times I’ve yelled back, “I refuse to talk to you while I’m in here!!”